Thursday, July 21, 2011

Are you ready??

I've been getting this question almost everyday from different people.  Are you ready??  And my answer always surprises  Am I suppose to be ready now??  I guess if they were more specific, then maybe my answer would change.  Maybe I should explain...

If you asked me, am I ready to meet my son, the answer would be YES!!  If you asked me if I was ready to go on leave and spend 3 months with him?  Hell YES!  But, when they ask, I feel as if its a question of...Are you ready for taking on the most important and difficult role of your life???  Well, the answer is NO!  Are you ready to change your whole life around for this one little person??  Well...I'd probably say yes to that one, with only a few reservations, lol.  Either way though, I have a lot of mixed feelings right now.  I'm soooo excited to meet my son, and see what he looks like and what his personality will be like.  I imagine it's like meeting the love of your life for the first time....who wouldn't be excited?  I'm also excited to finally feel like I belong to someone who needs I matter.  I know that sounds sad and depressing, but its how I feel.  I'm sure if you know me personally, you understand.  

So, how do I mentally prepare for this?  How do I get myself ready for the most important role of my life???  I have NO idea....I just keep hoping that one day I will feel ready to take it on.  Don't get me wrong, I want to take this role on!  I've been waiting for this for the last 12 years or so.  I've thought about why I wasn't scared when I was trying to get pregnant while I was married.  I guess knowing there is someone there with you helps you feel a bit more secure.  Like you can both handle anything that comes your way.  But being a single parent, you feel like all the pressure is on you, and you alone.  I guess I'm just scared...scared of failing him.  I'm scared of letting him down, and not being enough for him.  I want to be the best mom I can be, and I'm scared he will see through me.  I want to be strong for him, and give him what he needs.  I want to be there for him no matter what, and always put him first.  I want to make sure that he always knows that he is loved and that he matters.  I guess I will just have to take it one step at a time, and try to do my best.   I just hope my best is enough...

For now, he will have ALL my love....


  1. Scilla despite your reservations you are so ready. I can not remember ever being as prepard as you are for Bean. You will be a wonderful mom and I know this because you show so much love for him now and he's not even born. I will not sit here and say things will be easy or there won't be sad days. I think you will pull through with out a doubt because you love this little guy like no other person in the world.

    Bean will apprecite and love his mom Fa Sho!!!!

  2. I'm not gonna lie hon, we are never really ready. Can't be ready for the unknown, and as prepared as you can get, life will throw you some curveballs. I know, I'm very reassuring. Having said that, it doesn't mean it won't be wonderful and amazing and you will never feel love like that of being a parent. I disappoint my kids all the time, I fail them, I'm not always great; but I do my best. I love them, and I make sure that I show them that everyday. Here are my words of wisdom:

    *Epidural, made my birth experience awesome

    *The day might have sucked, you may have felt like a complete failure, you may still be in your jammies at 2pm, and nothing is done...but it's okay, because tomorrow is a new day, and you get to start all over.

    *Cherish each moment, even when they are crying and you feel like you're going to lose it, just say to yourself, this is the last day I will have with my child being this little at this moment...does that make sense?

    *And my top single momma tip, from a single momma lesson learned....DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP!!!!!! And people love babies, and helping and cooking and doing laundry for you, so do them a favor and make them feel useful.

    Best of luck to you sweetie, you are in for an amazing journey!

  3. Thanks Fitz...I really appreciate your sweet comment. One thing I do know, is that I have plenty of love to give him :)

  4. Thanks for all the great tips Cari! One thing I need to learn to do is ask for help, lol. Im not so good at it, but I am trying :)

  5. I think the makings of a good mother are really simple- love. Babies want to be fed, cuddled, and bathed, so as long as you're doing all of that, you are good. The harder part will come as they get older and being hating you for disciplining them and saying "no" but you MUST do it, it's your job.

    Don't sweat it chica, you'll be great. ;)